Chick Flicks: This Guy’s Picks

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In between manis and pedis at the local spa (kidding) I was thinking about movies that really made me “feel” and while I’m emotionally rocked by Rudy and The Shawshank Redemption I pondered “what are some chick flicks that I actually enjoyed?”  Maybe there is a heart in this big ole cavity I call a chest!  Check it.

The Notebook (2004) – I just wanted to go ahead and get this one out of the way first and foremost.  It’s super girlie but you know what?  I DON”T CARE.  This movie makes me believe in a thing called love and warms my heart and soul.  Backstory:  I’d never seen it but heard it was good.  I saw this in the $5 used bin at Blockbuster back in 2005 and discreetly made my purchase with a shamed face.  I went home and watched it by myself…Want in on a little secret???  I literally cried during this movie.  As a man I’m man enough to admit, I love The Notebook.

Noah turned his head in shame. Allie had smelt it and knew he'd dealt it. "Well," he thought "The damage is done. She can't very well ditch the date in the middle of the lake." He pondered his next move briefly. He turned back to Allie and smiled guiltily as he relaxed his clenched buttcheeks and released another stink bomb on his trapped captive.

Pretty Woman (1990) – Is it just me or does Julia Roberts still pretty much look the same 20 years later?  Ahhhh the miracles of plastic surgery and nerve killing Botox.  While a great film with a great soundtrack I still find it kind of weird that a movie about a prostitute and a millionaire was this successful.  Oh well, I guess everyone deserves a second chance!

"Hope you like mouth herpes," Vivian whispered seductively. "What!?!?" asked Edward "Oh nothing. Now can I have some money for clothes and jewels, and champagne and strawberries, and dope and crack and fresh needles?" Vivian inquired.

Mean Girls (2004) – Pre-coke/alcohol monitoring bracelet/DUI/general problems Lindsay Lohan stars in the Tiny Fey written tale of high school bitchdom.  Hilarity ensues.  Great supporting actress in Rachel McAdams and whoever played Gretchen Wieners.  Lindsay can you forgo Inferno and work with Fey on a Mean Girls followup?  Pleeeeeeaaaassssseeee!?!?

Drunk?!?! No way! Lindsay's just sleepy from reading the pile of movie offers she's got sitting on her desk...

Buh...Buh...Buh...But there's no Twitter in jail!!!

Sleepless in Seattle (1993) – Only mildly creepy and a testament to the “Love know’s no boundaries” mantra.  As always Tom Hanks delivers and Meg Ryan  really digs her feet in as the character she’ll be playing in every single other movie of her entire career.  Ever wonder what happened to the kid’s acting career?  Ross Malinger (Jonah Baldwin) was in an episode of Without a Trace in 2006.  Not sure where he’s been since then.

Tom: "Hey Meg, want to get together and make the exact same movie in five years when the internet catches on?" Meg: "Sounds good Tom, in the meantime I'll be in touch via electronic mail over our blazing fast 14.4K modem connections!"

Shakespeare in Love (1998) – Oscar winner for Best Picture that year Shakespeare in Love proves a story of life, love and loss.  In case you missed it, it’s on tv all the time now so make sure you catch it for nice good cry.

1591: The birth of the "Emo" movement, Sir William Shakespeare experiments with a dangerous combination of poetry and eyeliner.

Never Been Kissed (1999) – This movie has a bunch of positives and one big negative.  Positives:  The word “Rufus” came out of this movie.  David Arquette is enjoyable in this movie.  Hot young Jessica Alba is in this movie.  And, I may be mistaken but I remember a choreographed dance at the prom (I could be wrong.)  Anyway the negative?  Drew Barrymore.  Yuck!

Guy is TOTALLY crunching on you? Do I want to be crunched? By Guy? Ohhhhhhhh yeaaaaaaaaa...

At this age she was already drinking and smoking. I'm not kidding.

She’s All That (1999) – Laney Boggs IS all that.  Not sure why but my sister has also had a perpetual crush on Freddie Prinze Jr. since before I can remember.  I’m pretty sure that this movie definitely has a choreographed Prom dance but even better…Freddie Prinze Jr. defends Laney’s younger brother by making the school bully eat his own pubes off a pizza slice with a declaration of…HOOVER IT!  P.s.  Anyone remember Freddie’s CLASSIC Hack….E…..Sack…. interpretive poetry in motion performance piece?

Yes, even in foreign languages she is STILL all that.

The Princess Bride (1987) – The definition of a great chick flick.  I’ve seen this movie probably about 15-20 times and it never gets old.  I mean, c’mon it’s a chick flick and it’s got Andre the Giant in it!  What more could you ask for?  Well how about a young Fred Savage kickin’ ass and takin names as “The Grandson” who loves Nintendo and doesn’t want good ole grandpa to read the kissy parts.  If you’ve ever accused a  6 fingered person of killing Inigo Montoya’s father as a joke and they took it personally you’d understand. The Princess Bride ain’t just meant for the ladies fellas!

Ya'll ready for some MAWWIAGE? How about some WUV? Anyone? TWUE WUV?

When people tell me they've never seen The Princess Bride this is what I think.

Rob:  Please Subscribe to the Blog on the right side of the page.

Reader:  Asssssssssssssss Youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu Wishhhhhhhhhhhhh!

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Lindsay Lohan: Goes Directly to JAIL!

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"Crap!" thought LiLo, "Better hope I roll doubles!"

So if you don’t live and breath by TMZ you may not have heard that the one and only Lindsay Lohan (star of Herbie Fully Loaded) was sentanced to 90 days in jail and 90 days of rehab today.  Uh oh!  Sounds like someones got a case of the Mondays!

When asked to comment on her impending incarceration Lohan replied, “Scram!”  While we didn’t understand Ms. Lohan’s reference to her alcohol monitoring anklet pictured below we did get the distinct feeling she wasn’t interested in fielding any more questions from Fixing Films.

LiLo's fashionable new anklet! Who knew she loved hiking too!?!?

Out of respect for Ms. Lohan we decided to turn the topic to an area she might be a little more comfortable with.  Fashion and which label she’s sporting this week!

Fixing Films:  “Lindsay!!!  You must tell us, our readers are dying to know,  WHO are you wearing???”

Lohan:  “Scram!”

Fixing Films:  “Yes we know, and the dress, Vera Wang?  Louis V?

The interview ended abruptly at this point when Ms. Lohan forcibly grabbed our on-the-scene reporter and with uncanny Redbull fueled strength beat him within an inch of his life.

As Lindsay gulped down the carbonated, pee colored elixir she felt the sheer power course through her veins, building to an unspeakable rage. "This is my spinach, bitches."

Despite the recent incident with Ms. Lohan, we at Fixing Films would like to take this opportunity to say that we still hold hope for Lindsay Lohan.  Hey, she gave us Mean Girls and I might be persuaded to forgive I Know Who Killed Me should this September’s Machete prove worthy.

Until then Lindsay…we’ll see you at…the Bars.

"Jail's not all that bad," Lohan thought as she posed on the San Quentin red carpet Step and Repeat. "Not bad at all..."

If you hope Lohan finally gets sober so we can have Mean Girls II:  The College Years then…Subscribe.