"Damn it Lebron! You had your moment a couple weeks ago! Get out of my poster!" said Leonardo angrily. "Weren't you in Ninja Turtles?" asked Lebron back. A vein on Leonardo's head pulsed rapidly, rage was building... "I'm the chosen one, I had it tattooed on my back after Morpheus told me..." Lebron continued. "This isn't the G-D Matrix, now get outta here!!!" Lebron looked put off. "Fine," he replied. "I think I'll just be taking my talents to South Beach..."

Inception.  I had the privilege, nay, the honor of seeing this little screen gem over the weekend and while not the best movie I’ve ever seen and with a few inconsistencies, it’s definitely one of the best I’ve seen in a long while and yes I would rank it above Toy Story 3 for this year.  Spoilers below.

If you don’t already know the premise, here it is.  Leonardo DiCaprio is the world’s most skilled extractor who breaks into people’s minds and steals their secrets.  When a job goes wrong the perp turns on them to help him with a job.  This job however is different.  Leo and team must PLANT an idea in the head of this man’s main competitor.  This is called Inception and is substantially harder than extraction.  If Leo does this last job he can have his US legal problems wiped clean and return to the states to see his kids.

Ok, let’s take a look at the Leo’s crack team of super awesome mind messers.

Team Leader – Leonardo Dicaprio as Dom Cobb

"Hey Leo, guess what?" asked Johnny Depp. "What?" asked Leo "Chickenbutt, oh and in 20 years you and I will be two of the biggest movie stars in the world." "YAAAAAAAAY!!!" Leo replied while simultaneously peeing his pants in joy! After toweling down his right pant leg Johnny smiled a little too, on the inside.

Second in Command – Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Arthur

On fielding questions from Fixing Films Joseph Gordon Levitt replied: "No, I do not miss 3rd Rock From the Sun, there will NOT be a reunion episode and yes I still have terrible memories of John Lithgow tickling me..."

The Architect – Ellen Page as Ariadne

Leo took out his Swiss Army Knife and neatly sliced a small notch into his belt. Women CANNOT resist the temptation of Dicaprio!

Some Guy – Tom Hardy as Eames

"Powdered wigs equal instant serious actor cred," thought Tom to himself. "I'm not just some action star like Jason Statham. In this wig, I'm high society...and it hides my bald spot."

The Contractor – Ken Watanabe as Saito

"Mr Ed, after this one last job, you and I, well, we're going to have the life together we've always dreamed of." said Ken softly. Mr. Ed nuzzled Ken's cheek, leaned close to his ear and whispered, "I'll always be your Barbie, Ken... Now brush my mane."

The Chemist – Dileep Rao as Yusuf

"I see great things in the future..." Dileep said. "For me???" asked the cursed blond chick from Drag Me To Hell. "No, no, no!" Dileep replied. "I just booked a sweet movie with Leonardo Dicaprio! Have fun on the B-movie circuit, Sucka!"

The Mark – Cillian Murphy as Robert Fischer Jr.

"My plan is finally coming together," thought Cillian while adjusting the tuck on his mangina. "Leo will come down those stairs take one glimpse at me and it's off to the trailer for the afternoon...Yes, it's the perfect plan..."


While a great movie there are a few little things I’d like to point out about this movie that don’t make sense.  Maybe they would on a second viewing but…

1.  Ken Watanabe (Saito) is the rich guy who hires everyone and claims that Robert Fischer, (Cillian Murphy) is his MAIN competitor.  Why then does Robert not recognize him on the airplane while they are still awake?  At the top echelons of business these guys all know each other.  This doesn’t make sense.  Even if you say “Oh maybe he didn’t see him,” think about this.  In the 3rd dream world Saito and Robert Fischer are partners and help each other break into the fortress.

2.  Why doesn’t Robert Fischer know anything is up after the plane ride?  Ellen Page’s character remembered everything from her trip to the dream world and Robert Fischer acts like nothing has happened.

3.  When Robert dies in the 3rd dream world and Leo and Ellen Page head down to the 4th level to retrieve him they don’t hook themselves up to him to dream with him.  How then do they retrieve his mind from the 4th level?  Strange…

4.  Furthermore about the 4th level, how is Mal holding Robert hostage?  She’s not real.  Is this Dom/Leo’s subconscious rebelling against him?

5.  Do you think Mal was right or Dom was right?  Is he dreaming in the final scene or is he fully awake…Guess we’ll never know, but what do you think?

I leave you with this.  What if you combined the two best movies of 2010 and made one, mega, super movie.  Toy Story 3:  Inception!

If you still don’t fully understand it…Subscribe.