Is it just me or does it seem like every time I turn around I see another picture of Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner or Kristen Stewart?

Invariably it’s a messy hair pic, an abs pic, and finally robot mouth.

Robot Mouth:  (Def. -noun.  1.  A tightlipped horizontal expression used to express pain and confusion or veil similarly uncomfortable feelings and emotions.  2. Kristen Stewart’s go-to paparazzi face.)

There IS something about Mary...

"I'm sooo damn hot," thought Taylor vainly, "Much hotter than Lava Girl ever was..."

"This is crazy!" thought Lavagirl, "I live in a volcano and he's an underwater hitman! Oh well," she sighed, "The heart wants what the heart wants."

And…

"Wow my tummy hurts," thought Bella. "It could be Edward's unborn 1/2 vampire child OR...that 1/2 pound bean and cheese burrito. Anybody's ballgame at this point."

Well ladies and gentlemen this trademark face has been circulating for awhile with many variations.  Much like Derek Zoolander’s Magnum, La Tigre, and infamous Blue Steel looks Kristen has her own bag of tricks…Is it worms? Constipation?  Indigestion?  You be the judge.

With this Mom blazer on, nobody will know I have to poop!

Enigmatic Mona Lisa Smile? NO. Fart Face.

I wonder if the photographer knows I'm having cramps...

Ahhhh, there's my smile! You'd be amazed how much Kaopectate can fit in one backpack...

Trendsetter Kristen Stewart's Drink of Choice: Kao & Coke.

If you think Kristen Stewart belongs in the next Robocop, subscribe via email.

Advertisements