Dinner for Schmucks: A Real Treat

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Steve Carell and Paul Rudd team to serve up a bid ‘ole helping of “Dinner.”  Don’t worry folks, it doesn’t leave a bad taste in your mouth.

Steve: "Are you hanging you head in digust Paul???" Paul: "No Steve, I've got a raging headache because I can't decide how to spend all the money I've been raking in from hilarious comedy movies! Should I get the G5 or go halfsies on that place in the Hamptons with Jason Segal? Gah! Decisions, decisions!"

Premise:  Dinner for Schmucks revolves around Paul Rudd (TIM) who is an career driven analyst at a financial firm who, in trying to impress his girlfriend puts himself on the line for a promotion.  There’s only one catch.  He must bring an idiot to the bosses monthly dinner that they can make fun of.  Now I’m sure you can predict the ending.  Tim finds Steve Carell (Barry), a heartbroken taxidermist/IRS guy and decides he’ll push his morals aside for the time being and do this dinner.

His girlfriend dumps him, he learns that he’s a better man than he’s been acting and he wins her back from an Animalistic sex fiend artist Kieran played awesomely by Jemaine Clement of Flight of the Conchords fame.

Dinner for Schmucks is no Oscar contender but it’s a fun comedy with it’s heart in the right place.  Specifically there is an amazing reoccurring bit with stuffed mice that Barry uses to illustrate famous paintings, events in history or aspects of his own life.

Barry explains "Of Mice and Men...and Jesus."

I’d like to highlight a couple things here that I think are of note.  (4 Points)

1.  Steve Carell is leaving The Office.  Sad as it is to say we won’t be seeing much of Michael Scott anymore. :(  The upside is that it leaves him more time for what he calls “spending more time with family” and we hope is actually more movie time and hopefully an Anchorman sequel.  Let’s just pray he doesn’t make another movie like this.

Oh yea Steve, this is REAL believable, people rest their head on their pancakes ALL the time. This poster also begs a "Butterface" joke which I can't seem to place.

2.  Paul Rudd is a new comic main man.  Ok so it used to be Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Will Ferrell.  Now it seems like the likes of Paul Rudd, Seth Rogen and Jason Segal are really stepping up in the world.  (Honorable mention for Chris Mintz-Plasse, Jonah Hill and Michael Cera.)  What will Rudd do next???

Coming 2011... Paul Rudd in...Baywatch: The Dude Class!

3.  The world needs more Ron Livingston.  He had a minor role in Dinner for Schmucks and ever since office space I’ve been wondering why isn’t Ron Livingston in more stuff.  Oh yea I remember, he committed career suicide in the minds of men by going over to the dark side for a reoccurring role on Sex in the City.  Ewwwww!  I want to see the Ron Livingston that smashes printers (Office Space) and shoots people (Band of Brothers.)  Ron!  Smack your agent in the face and tell him you deserve better!

"Ground Control to Major Ron, Ground Control to Major Ron. Take your protein pills and put your helmut on..." -David Bowie

4.  I’ve never seen Zach Galifianakis unfunny.  Seriously if you’ve ever seen some of his stand-up it’s hilarious.  His “talkshow” Between Two Ferns is HILARIOUS.  This guy is AMAZING.

On acting: "I like to think of myself as a young Richard Dreyfuss," said Galifianakis. Minus the whole "Mr. Holland's Opus" thing.

I wanted to do you all a favor so I’ve embedded here a few Zach gems.  DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND WATCH THEM NOW!!!

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Casey Affleck: A Real Wiener

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Ok, so I may be a day or two behind on this but apparently websites are reporting that Casey Affleck is being sued for sexual harassment by a one Miss Amanda White.

"Stick with me little bro," said Ben earnestly "I just wrapped production on a surefire hit! It's called Gigli, I mean Reindeer Games, I mean Jersey Girl, I mean Surviving Christmas, yeah that's it...It'll be a BIG HIT..."

In case you don’t follow Affleck’s every move, you’ll be excited to know that he’s been following his brother-in-law Joaquin Phoenix around with a camera the past year making a documentary/mockumentary about Joaquin’s retirement from acting and attempt to start a rap career.  This movie is called I’m Still Here:  The Lost Year of Joaquin Phoenix.  (Note:  This is 99% sure to be a mockumentary.)  He’s even managed by Diddy!!!

Sweaty bearded awkwardness has a name, and that name is Joaquin Phoenix.

Also for those of you that don’t know Casey Affleck is married to Joaquin’s sister Summer.  Strange that Casey would cheat on his wife right in front of her brother.

"I wonder how soon I can get the old bag to bed so I can go hump some of these star chasers at the afterparties..." Casey thought almost cracking a smile. "Maintain," he said to himself. "Must maintain a look of total lack of interest in my wife."

I think this story goes deeper however.  It’s not just about how he was accused of trying to get Amanda White to sleep in his hotel room, or the massive party he threw in Vegas with Joaquin in which dozens of strippers and transvestites were hired and Casey had Amanda produce the segment.  I think the deep underlying tale here is:


Ladies Beware!!! The Devil Beard is REAL and it's coming for YOU!!!

I have a theory or hypothesis if you will that men who wear facial hair such as this will do one of three things:

1.  Beat you

2. Harass you

3.  Both

I’m not sure if the evil stems from the beard or if the beard is just a side effect of the evil but it’s a clear indicator.  If you want to avoid getting touched, getting punched and getting a fat settlement then avoid these men at all costs!!!

If you want to read the real journalistic take on this breaking story, click here.  “Touched by an Angel:  The Casey Affleck Story”

Wanna see Joaquin perform one of his rap “hits” from the documentary then attack an unsatisfied fan?


"Sleep with me or else!!! Oh, and subscribe to this blog too!!!"

Despicable Me: Making it Better


This movie is quite simply, Despicable.

No, it's not a Pixar movie.

My above statement may have been a little harsh.  I did in fact see this movie immediately prior to The Last Airbender which made it seem comparably better.  I did make a fatal mistake however that I hadn’t made since the Ninja Turtles animated TMNT came out a few years back.  I saw it at an hour before kid’s bedtimes.  BIG MISTAKE.  And I’ll tell you why.

These guys

Paul contemplated the cylindrical mooing can skeptically. "There's not a REAL cow in there is there?"

I’ll talk about the crux of the movie in a minute but let me get this out of the way.  Young children CANNOT resist these Jellybean looking “Minions” who talk in a high pitch warble.  Every time they did anything I was treated to the ‘magic” of shrill childish laughter.  Ahhh, must be music to a mother’s ears.

I’d also like to congratulate whoever invented “The Minions.”  They managed to captivate the hearts and minds of children everywhere while simultaneously putting ZERO effort into their design process.  I’ve broken their creation process down to (4) steps.

Step 1:  Take Yellow Jellybeans

Step 2:  Add Mr. Potatohead Arms and legs

"I was better the first time around in "Toy Story"

Step 3:  Add douche goggles

Kenny from Can't Hardly Wait was quite the trendsetter in 1998 with his Despicable Me DGs!

Step 4:  Cheap Slapstick Humor

Here come the laughs parents!

Ok, so now that we’ve established that the animators really brought their D game to the table let’s talk about the movie.

Despicable Me details the story of Gru, a middle aged evil bachelor who, looking to one up the greatest heist in history (the stealing of the great pyramid) decides to steal THE MOON!!!  The only problem is that his much younger rival “Vector” has stolen the shrink ray he needs to get said moon.  That’s where three cute little girls come in.

Despite the fact that in real life single, creepy old men aren't allowed to adopt three cute little girls simultaneously, we'll just let that one slide and chalk it up to "willing suspension of disbelief."

Gru uses the little girls as a distraction to get his robot chocolate-chip cookies into Vector’s lair and steal the shrink ray.  In the weeks leading up to the moon heist, whadda-ya-know, he grows a heart.

How could this movie have been better?  I really would have liked there to be more of a villain in the movie.  Vector is bad but for most of the movie he treats Gru as a gnat not even worth his time.  As such there’s not really any timeclocks making Gru’s mission more important.  It’s more of an inner struggle through most of the second act and only when Vector steals the girls towards the end are the stakes really raised.

Vector set down his keyboard and gazed admiringly at all the naked women he would never have. "Ahhhh," he thought to himself, "the wonders of the internet."

Later, on Chat Roulette, Vector decided to have some fun with some unsuspecting video chatters!

Long story short is that this movie gets a B.  It was above average but not really “classic” material or anything like that.  I’d probably see the sequel which I’m sure they’ll make, however this time from the comfort of my living room, protected from the high frequency drone of children under 5 laughter.

Bachelor with a heart + single, middle aged women = Love at first sight

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The Last Airbender: Ultra-Turd

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So I very recently treated myself to a little double feature of Despicable Me and The Last Airbender.  The yin and yang of my week, I was pleased with one and vastly disappointed in the other.  Can you guess which is which?!?!

When asked to comment on the poor critical reviews of his latest bomb M. Night Shyamalan replied: "At least it wasn't The Happening."

M. Night Shyamalan was once a young director with a promising career.  Now?  THIS.

"Kids love special effects!" thought M. Night to himself. "I think on this movie I'll replace all the actual acting with special effects. Yea, that's a swell idea!!!"

And so this is where one of the worst movies of the year begins.  The first thing M. Night did to sabotage this series is bring in a ringer…Noah Ringer.  I know you’re young and still developing, but kid you may want to consider another line of work, maybe something that requires no facial expression like engineering, or janitorial technician-ing.

Mr. Night also apparently lost his knack for story telling as much of the story is literally told to us through narration rather than showing us like any good director knows to do.  The movie clocks in at a svelt hour and 43 minutes and therein lies the problem.  The movie is too short.  While I’ve never been an Airbender fan and don’t know much about the series I do know that this idea, this concept is much bigger than 103 minutes.  To get a proper background, develop the characters and make us care, the movie needs to be about 45 minutes longer, more like Lord of the Rings.

So what the hell happened?  Did the studio say.  “OMG we need a shorter movie for the kids!”  Did M. Night just get tired 75% through and say, “Well, looks good enough to me!”

Fixing Films asked Dev Patel to comment on The Last Airbender and it’s epic crappiness.

"I took one look at this picture and realized I looked like a big pussy. M. Night told me I'd be totally badass as a Fire Nation prince. I signed on before reading the script...or watching his last several movies...BIG mistake!"

(Fixing Films would like to OFFICIALLY salute Dev Patel for his Slumdog Millionaire performance.  THAT is how a movie is supposed to be!”

So let’s just really quickly outline the major problems with this film.

1.  Acting is terrible.  Noah Ringer can’t and Jackson Rathbone is not far behind in terribleness.

"The only thing colder than this set is the ice in peoples hearts after seeing the film." P.s. "I'm Jasper in Twilight. Team Edward Yo!"

2.  Story points rushed along with bad dialogue narration.  Example “OMG we learned a lot at the Water temple.  LOL we freed some Earthbender villages…”  NO!  SHOW ME M. NIGHT!!!

3.  Nobody learns anything.  Aang wakes up from sleep and learns some water bending tricks.  He decides he’ll be the Avatar.  Big whoop.  It feels cheap.  Sokka learns nothing.  Katara learns some water bending and nothing else.  Dev Patel is still trying to kidnap Aang at the end and learns nothing.  NOBODY HAS AN ARC OR GOES THROUGH ANY MAJOR CHANGE.

Dear M. Night,

For audiences to care about your movies your

characters have to be relate-able and go through an emotional transformation.

Please incorporate this into your future films and I’ll await my royalty

check for the best advice you’ve ever received.

Hugs, Rob.

4.  Character development is TERRIBLE.  Best example of this is the romance between Sokka and Princess Yue.  When she’s forced to make the decision to sacrifice her life for the Water people and Sokka’s all butt-hurt about it, I (and the rest of the audience I’m pretty sure) didn’t give a damn.  “Woah she’s gonna die, oh well!”  At what point in the story did these two fall in love?  Oh wait it was when the narration came in and said: “Sokka really took a liking to the princess.”  One second they don’t know each other the next they are in love and she’s dying and he’s crying.  HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE, HORRIBLE.

Best parts of movie:

1.  Special Effects.  Hey M. Night, Spiderman 2 had special effects also.  The difference?  That movie was good.

See that background people. That scaffold and greenscreen is millions of dollars of un-recooped box office sales... And Noah, you are NOT the Karate Kid.

2.  Seychelle Gabriel (Princess Yue).  She’s hot with her Steve Martin white hair.  I can’t wait to see her in Airbender 2.  Oh wait!  M. Night killed her off in the first one and she had three minutes of actual screen time dammit!

3.  Dev Patel.  At least he can act.

I don't even have a smart ass comment for this picture. Love you guys!

Hey Aang! Why don't you use that bowstaff to smack some filmmaking prowess back into Mr. Shyamalan!

M. Night actually wrote this character into Lady in the Water. Fixing Films Flashback!!!! Casting session 2005: M: "So Freddy, you really want this part huh?" Freddy: "Yes Mr. M sir. I'd do anything!: M: "Anything???"

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Inception: Wow


"Damn it Lebron! You had your moment a couple weeks ago! Get out of my poster!" said Leonardo angrily. "Weren't you in Ninja Turtles?" asked Lebron back. A vein on Leonardo's head pulsed rapidly, rage was building... "I'm the chosen one, I had it tattooed on my back after Morpheus told me..." Lebron continued. "This isn't the G-D Matrix, now get outta here!!!" Lebron looked put off. "Fine," he replied. "I think I'll just be taking my talents to South Beach..."

Inception.  I had the privilege, nay, the honor of seeing this little screen gem over the weekend and while not the best movie I’ve ever seen and with a few inconsistencies, it’s definitely one of the best I’ve seen in a long while and yes I would rank it above Toy Story 3 for this year.  Spoilers below.

If you don’t already know the premise, here it is.  Leonardo DiCaprio is the world’s most skilled extractor who breaks into people’s minds and steals their secrets.  When a job goes wrong the perp turns on them to help him with a job.  This job however is different.  Leo and team must PLANT an idea in the head of this man’s main competitor.  This is called Inception and is substantially harder than extraction.  If Leo does this last job he can have his US legal problems wiped clean and return to the states to see his kids.

Ok, let’s take a look at the Leo’s crack team of super awesome mind messers.

Team Leader – Leonardo Dicaprio as Dom Cobb

"Hey Leo, guess what?" asked Johnny Depp. "What?" asked Leo "Chickenbutt, oh and in 20 years you and I will be two of the biggest movie stars in the world." "YAAAAAAAAY!!!" Leo replied while simultaneously peeing his pants in joy! After toweling down his right pant leg Johnny smiled a little too, on the inside.

Second in Command – Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Arthur

On fielding questions from Fixing Films Joseph Gordon Levitt replied: "No, I do not miss 3rd Rock From the Sun, there will NOT be a reunion episode and yes I still have terrible memories of John Lithgow tickling me..."

The Architect – Ellen Page as Ariadne

Leo took out his Swiss Army Knife and neatly sliced a small notch into his belt. Women CANNOT resist the temptation of Dicaprio!

Some Guy – Tom Hardy as Eames

"Powdered wigs equal instant serious actor cred," thought Tom to himself. "I'm not just some action star like Jason Statham. In this wig, I'm high society...and it hides my bald spot."

The Contractor – Ken Watanabe as Saito

"Mr Ed, after this one last job, you and I, well, we're going to have the life together we've always dreamed of." said Ken softly. Mr. Ed nuzzled Ken's cheek, leaned close to his ear and whispered, "I'll always be your Barbie, Ken... Now brush my mane."

The Chemist – Dileep Rao as Yusuf

"I see great things in the future..." Dileep said. "For me???" asked the cursed blond chick from Drag Me To Hell. "No, no, no!" Dileep replied. "I just booked a sweet movie with Leonardo Dicaprio! Have fun on the B-movie circuit, Sucka!"

The Mark – Cillian Murphy as Robert Fischer Jr.

"My plan is finally coming together," thought Cillian while adjusting the tuck on his mangina. "Leo will come down those stairs take one glimpse at me and it's off to the trailer for the afternoon...Yes, it's the perfect plan..."


While a great movie there are a few little things I’d like to point out about this movie that don’t make sense.  Maybe they would on a second viewing but…

1.  Ken Watanabe (Saito) is the rich guy who hires everyone and claims that Robert Fischer, (Cillian Murphy) is his MAIN competitor.  Why then does Robert not recognize him on the airplane while they are still awake?  At the top echelons of business these guys all know each other.  This doesn’t make sense.  Even if you say “Oh maybe he didn’t see him,” think about this.  In the 3rd dream world Saito and Robert Fischer are partners and help each other break into the fortress.

2.  Why doesn’t Robert Fischer know anything is up after the plane ride?  Ellen Page’s character remembered everything from her trip to the dream world and Robert Fischer acts like nothing has happened.

3.  When Robert dies in the 3rd dream world and Leo and Ellen Page head down to the 4th level to retrieve him they don’t hook themselves up to him to dream with him.  How then do they retrieve his mind from the 4th level?  Strange…

4.  Furthermore about the 4th level, how is Mal holding Robert hostage?  She’s not real.  Is this Dom/Leo’s subconscious rebelling against him?

5.  Do you think Mal was right or Dom was right?  Is he dreaming in the final scene or is he fully awake…Guess we’ll never know, but what do you think?

I leave you with this.  What if you combined the two best movies of 2010 and made one, mega, super movie.  Toy Story 3:  Inception!

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Mel Gibson Redefines “Ladykiller”


Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a dangerous man on the loose.  A man you may even have welcomed into your home before.  Let me ask you this.  Have YOU seen the movie Pocahontas?  How about Lethal Weapon?  Braveheart?  Yes, Mel Gibson can and will kill you.

This information comes to us from reliable sources and I would NOT take it with a grain of salt.

"Hey, at least I'm not the movie starring Angelina Jolie!" said Mr. Salt. (Talk about a stupid movie title!)

Here lads and lasses is the proof.  (Caution,  Extreme profanity in all rants and a racial slur in Rant #1 and #3.)

Mel Rant #1  “Your boobs look stuuuuupid, get rid of em, you’re embarassing me…”

Mel Rant #2 “I’ll put you in a f$%^#g rosegarden you _c#*t__, cause I’m capable of it…”

Mel Rant #3 “You don’t count, I OWN you.”

Mel Rant #4 “I demand oral sex before you fall asleep.”

Mel Rant #5 “I spent 5 million dollars on youuuuu!!! I had to gid rid of my Lakers box!!!”

Mel Rant #6 Oksana: “You hit our baby.”  Mel:  “No one will believe you!”

Mel Rant #7 “I’m super jealous of Timothy Dalton!!!  Arrrrrrrgggg!!!”

Mel Sane #1 “I just want to make like Spike Lee and do the right thing.”

Mel Voicemail Rants “F-bomb, f-bomb, f-bomb, f-bomb…”

Well the proof is in the pudding as they say, or in the sneakily obtained audiotapes that you try to extort your husband with if you’re to believe Mel’s reps.  Either way, one thing is for sure.  WE ALL ARE IN DANGER.  Just take a look at the evidence I’ve gathered below that proves Mel is not only a trained assassin but also, a master of disguise.

Exhibit A:

Mel returns to the scene of the crime sporting a bowl cut and monk's habit as coverup. See skull in left side of image? Mel Gibson, ALWAYS gets his man.

Exhibit B:

Mel was able to eek past the wand-waving metal-detectoring guards by smuggling this pistol in his giant 1980's mullet. Mel thinks of EVERYTHING.

Exhibit C:

Mel loves killing, always has!

Exhibit D:

"See my leatha? I'm also into S&M."

Exhibit E:

Mel Gibson addressed the focus group solemnly. "Now let me ask you again, how much did you LOVE Apocalypto?"

Exhibit F:

I was at a local Revolutionary War reenactment and stumbled upon Gibson honing his craft. He was indeed the only man using real bullets.

Exhibit G:

Good thing looks can't kill, because he's capable of it!

Exhibit H:

He can and will MacGuyver a way to turn a bra and some tampons into a bat to smack you up.

I hope this has been a warning to you.  I hope it makes you see that light.  Parents make sure your children are in by sunset and definitely make sure not to smirk in his general direction or you will regret it.  Walk in groups to your cars and stay in well lit areas.  Because we all know…in the shadows, lurks…GIBSON!

Mel Gibson doesn't WANNA go to school!

What a sad, sad man.  If you truly think they should lock this loon up for awhile to think about what he’s done then make sure all your friends know what a nut he is and you damn-well better remove Edge of Darkness from your Netflix cue.

Predators: Making it Better

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“What?!?! This is an action movie??? My agent said we were shooting a perfume commercial. Welp! Guess I’ll just stick around and see what happens!”

So I shelled out the $13.50 to see Predators this weekend and boy oh boy am I excited to share the news with you! (There will be Spoilers.)

I guess I’ll just start from the beginning.  Where does Predators (2010) fall in the list of Predator movies over time.

1.  Predator (1987)

2.  Predators (2010)

3.  Predator 2 (1990)

4/5. Alien Vs. Predator & Alien Vs. Predator Requiem (Year doesn’t matter and seriously?  Somewhere out there are studio execs still counting Scrooge McDuck-esq bags of money and laughing at us, the consumer.)

(Scottish Accent) "Thanks John Q. Public for showing up in droves to the AVP movies! I'll just be taking these to my massive above-ground vault to swim in with the rest of the money you gave me for Paul Blart: Mall Cop!"

Now back to Predators:  There are some glaring inconsistencies.

1.  How is Topher Grace (The Doctor) able to identify plants on the Predator planet?  THIS MAKES NO SENSE!  Alien planet=Alien plant life.  Easy way to fix this is to have one of the people get a minor prick from the “Paralysis Plant” and just have 1/2 their body go numb for an hour.  Then Topher can steal the sap and still slice up people and make them numb-er than an Enron exec’s feelings.

2a.  Lawrence Fishburne.   This is a two parter.  Apparently according to the new code of the predator world the ONLY thing you need to turn invisible is a predator mask.  Oh, and it automatically works for humans too.

"Somebody order up some Crime Scene Investigation? No??? I'll just be going then..."

Yep, there it is.  Just steal a Predator Mask and presto you’ve got yourself a Kevin Bacon, Hollow Man recreation!

Interviewer: "So Kevin, why did you decide to do Hollow Man? The script? The characters?" Baconator: "Off the record?" Interviewer: "Sure." Baconator: "I really just wanted to touch some of that boob." (People that haven't seen this movie, that's actually what he does. Turn invisible and grope boob.)

2b.  Why does Lawrence Fishburne lure them back to his secret hideout to try and kill them when ALL he has to do is let them get killed off by the predators and then steal their stuff?  I also really wonder how much he got paid for this as he’s only in the movie for all of about 8 minutes before his dumbassedness gets himself and the big-hearted Russian guy blown up.

Brody: "Ivan, I see you've been spending and awful lot of time over at Fishburne's trailer...you know he's going to get you killed..." Ivan: "It's ok, I owe him my life for getting me out of the Matrix. Just doing my part to protect Zion." Brody: "You do know this is Predators right?" Ivan: "Later Adrien, I need to go consult with the Oracle..."

3.  Progression of Predator Lead-men.  First we have Ahhh-nald.

(Arnold Accent) "Laugh all you want. This lump is a buildup of pure testosterone I'm saving for when I ram my fist into your stomach. And no, Eeets Nawt a Tooo-ma!"

Then we have Danny “The gloves come off” Glover…

On hearing the news Glover was elated. "Angels in the Outfield II just got greenlit?!?! Come in here Mr. Studio Exec for the real thing!"

And finally…A-Fed.

"Yo Adrien? Yo, ADRIEN! That's funny right? Like referencin' Rocky and shit!" said Kevin douchebaggedly. "You gotta peep some of this style and all the hunnies'll be up on that skinny white ass!" Adrien gingerly turned his cap 20 degrees off center. It felt...SOOOO right... "You're the boss Fed-EX!"

Ok, ok, ok.  So Brody’s got acting chops.  My only question is what happened to the raw physical awesome (Awesome as noun) that was so prevalent in the first Predator?  Has it been diluted over time, like so much homeopathic home remedy?  At one point in the movie Brody reveals a pretty chiseled and uncharacteristically muscled physique that’s pretty impressive.  BUT, is it as impressive as say…I don’t know…THIS!

"You ole, sonuvabitch! How the hell are ya! How's about we do an unconventional handshake and flex?" said the guy on the left who's name I can't remember. "Sounds about right!" Arnold replied. "SLAP!"

I mean this is your new lead character.

"Mmmmm, I do believe I'll go kill some Predators, but first I've got to finish this concerto and take tea with Mrs. Haversham...ahh well, time does indeed fly as they say!"

My final verdict on this is that Brody is a passable lead to the Predators reboot.  I’d like to see what he could have done with a stronger script and I’m impressed with his dedication to the physical transformation.  Bravo Mr. Brody, you get an A for effort.  Meanwhile, your co-star Danny Trejo get’s an A for awesome.

"The most badass thing about this movie is that I trim this 'stache with it!"

(Machete comes out September 3rd and co-stars Jessica Alba, Michelle Rodriquez and Lindsay Lohan.)

4.  Last but not least.  The producers of this movie forgot one thing.  I guarantee I’m not the first one to think of this but what if, in the next film they brought out the ULTIMATE predator hunter?  None would escape and we’d find out what was going through the predators minds when they stalked us.  Ladies and Gentlemen, scroll down to see the Ultimate Predator Hunter….












Chris Hansen: "So, what exactly are you doing here?" Predator: "RaaRRRGGGRAARRGG!" Chris: "I have a transcript here, in it you say, quote 'I want to wear fishnet stockings when I harvest your spine.' Now what exactly does that mean Mr. Predator?" Predator (Nervous now, hands in his pockets...) "Rarrrggg?" Chris: "What's that you've got in your pocket there?" Predator pulls out condom... Chris: "So you DID intend to have sex..."

Ladies and gentlemen that is all.  I would recommend Predators for DVD/On Demand rental and probably wouldn’t pay to see it in the theaters again.  It is however a fun action movie and for fans of the Predator franchise this may be a fun re-visitation.

Who's ready for Matrix 4? And...maybe some Invisalign for that gap... THIS GUY!

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