Keep in mind, if you haven’t seen this movie, I’m about to spoil it.

"You're after the Dagger of Time??? Awww hell naw!"

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome back to the world of video games that don’t make fantastic movies.  Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter, Double Dragon, Mario Brothers, Wing Commander, Doom, Max Payne,  Any Pokemon movie, etc. etc.  While Prince of Persia:  Sands of Time was not the worst movie I’ve ever seen I definitely found some areas for improvement.  Let’s discuss.

  1. Accents.  Let me make this abundantly clear.  This movie is set in Persia. Persia.  Land of the Persians.  Why then do both Princess Tamina and Dastan, The PRINCE of Persia, have UK (English) accents?  Just so you can verify, here’s a teaser/trailer where you can hear for yourself. 
  2. What does Dastan (Gyllenhaal) learn?  Nothing.  At the beginning of the movie he is relatively humble while still brave and loyal.  Through the course of the movie he:  1. stays humble, 2. is very brave, and 3. is loyal to his family.  The only thing that changes perhaps is that he decides to help Princess Tamina while still working to clear his name.
  3. Poisoned robe plot hole.  Tus (Dastan’s) older brother must be pretty stupid to just automatically accept that Dastan poisoned the king when all the time he KNOWS that Nizam (Ben Kingsley) gave the robe to them to present the king with.  Additionally how in the hell does Nizam know that neither Tus or Dastan will touch the robe before they present the king with it???  This is far too easy and doesn’t make much sense.  It would have been much easier if Tus would have given him the robe and Nizam poisons it after Dastan has it but before the King arrives.  It’s believable, it makes sense and you can still point the finger at Tus if you want, so long as Dastan doesn’t touch the robe in any of the onscreen scenes.
  4. Hassansin killers couldn’t kill a cockroach.  Aren’t these guys supposed to be the world’s deadliest trained killers?  Aren’t they supposed to be able to kill you without you even knowing they were there?  Well looks like they didn’t bring their A-game this time around as a small army of them couldn’t take out Princess Tamina and Dastan whilst protected by a mouthy merchant and some of his buddies.  Weak!  P.s. Main assassin guy, the only snake you need to keep hidden in your cloths is of the trouser variety.
  5. "Hurry up and die Jake Gyllenhaal, Professor Snape needs me back on the Quidditch field!"

Anyway, I said this wasn’t the worst movie I’ve ever seen and I definitely enjoyed staring at a dolled up Gemma Arterton for two hours.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel for the PoP franchise.  Despite under-performing at the box office Prince of Persia 2 has already been greenlit and begun filming.  There is a reduced budget however forcing the crew to work with somewhat dated production techniques.  Check out a screen-grab from the dailies below!!!

Jake Gyllenhaal on the set of the Prince of Persia 2 set for release summer 2012.  Check out that six pack!!!

Jake Gyllenhaal on the set of the Prince of Persia 2: The Skeleton King, set for release summer 2012. Check out that six pack!!!

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